I hate the sound of my own voice

I don’t talk a whole lot Most of the time I have taken up the idea of It is deeply ingrained. Though I do wonder if I hate it because when I think I stutter and then while I think that. My brain replays what I said in my head. Now that creates a feedback loop. I hear it twice. Then my annoyingly self conscious mind begins to wonder what those around me are thinking. It makes me seize up more. Boom I’m stuck. In reality I’m sure no one cares. The real issue is that I hear my voice so rarely that when I do hear what I really sound like, I can almost feel how the vocal cords are bending to make my own unique frequency of voice.

In order to truly control something you have train it. So that is what I did.. A few times at least. I read the first page of Harry Potter a couple times, My tongue got stiff in a few of the takes I also noticed that it is quite impossible for me to recite word for word. It is like my brain wants to just skip those words and give it a more human sound to it almost as if the way we write is not equal to that of human speech. It has to be perfect. But the real question is …..

Is it?

I just read the first paragraph outed close to a nightmare of everything sizing up boom here we go round two here we go .

A City of the End

I know of a city. Formed off broke Ambition, The hope being that this grand plan of a municipality would rival that of the finest. Great ancient builders put a great deal of the gold snow into it. In this world, In the areas that had the highest potential to be fantastic. One of the gods came to cultivate it, grow the finest of trees. The finest greens. The far off opposing city of lost Silver was supposed to tremble in its. Wake. The land was gathered up. The God set to work for many years though eventually, he grew tired, and his project ended. The God left, and the inhabitants tried to make their own way, but they liked things being the way they were. Time passed, and the ideas of the future remained stagnant for much later time. Older wise men came there to live their days peacefully And passed in. Due time. That was was where the city got its name. The young sprouts that went from the land always tried to uproot themselves. Their little green legs popping up between the cracks the run to the beginning, away from the end.

Still trying

Well another day passes, I’ve made some progress I’d like to say well I have, I mean in technicality. We write and we write listening to those around us who don’t believe in the medium so we keep going despite that it its hard on some of the days where you wonder if it’s what you are supposed to do. Of course you know it’s what you gotta do but there is that feeling. That maybe they are right well you gotta do your own thing thats it just do it.

A Quick thought of one of the strangest movies ever.

So I don’t know if you’ve heard of the movie Synedoche New York but I think it is about a guy that wants to create a massive play that encapsulates life. He spends his whole life working on it but it never seems to go anywhere and then he dies. “Devin!” I hear you say, “that sounds incredibly morbid and and sad!”

To which I say yes it does. The movie is weird,

But….

Even sad things can serve to motivate us properly.

  1. Don’t make things overly massive to the4 point of impossibly in your writing focus on a few characters and don’t dwell too much one every little detail; or things will never get done. I do not that some people do focus on a bunch of characters. As much as every little detail would be tempting don’t! Keep pace and finish it.
  2. Don’t dwell too much on the past. Learn from it definitely but don’t let it tether you, There are no strings on me or you!
  3. Look at things in a good light that will help there are always good thing Otherwise you might a sabotage good thing.

There we go three cool lessons!

Now listen to “Here comes the sun” by The Beatles

Embrace the new technology

We all have new things appear over our lives, when I was very young, Facebook became a thing I didn’t understand at the time. Maybe that was the point of why so many people lied about their ages and are now labeled as a 28-year-old despite the reality being that those people are actually only 18 or 19. So we sit there with our older images of ourselves. Our parents don’t really understand some technologies so they might look at us and say hey that’s weird. Realistically as things get older, more people use it. But something to take into consideration if you were the first one to adopt something new the increased chance for being the first ones to understand it!

Rap

Rap music is something that I really enjoy. It has this mood of motivation to it. I know that some people don’t like rap, but you gotta admit that it has this air of cocky confidence to it. If you have heard of a thing called The Secret. It is where you believe you are gonna get something eventually it will happen. So granted there is some issues with the music but I do think it is important to remember to know that you will get what you want.

Animal Crossing. New Dawn, A delayed good time

As you may or may not know E3 is happening right now. So you know what that means! We are all mentally spending our money with many oohs and ahhs. One of my favorite games that I have played is actually Animal crossing, it’s a little series where you come to a new town and you make a bunch of animal friends. Weird as that may sound on paper, it is a wonderfully relaxing time that has actually helped me through some trying times when I feel depressed or anxious. It is so simple life is simple in that game it allows you to set small goals for yourself each and move forward towards what ever you might want to do.

So imagine my sadness when when I learned that the game had been delayed into 2020, “Oh no!” I thought to myself how will I ever wait that long! But then I thought to myself. I would much rather the game be delayed and be good than for it to come out and be a bit of a mess. As Shigeru Myamoto once said, “A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad.” This can be true in life sometimes it could be better to take a moment to breath and get it done right than to get it done first. So while it is true I am sad, I am also hopeful for what the future holds

S.T.A.Y. A fixation on the past

Interstellar is a weird experience. When I first saw it I was sad and also mad. I was sad mad. Smad. It at first came off to me as a confusing mess that you couldn’t rewatch with the ideas into the film later, like what was possible with Inception. You see you watch that film and knowing what you know about the future of the timeline you can go..Oh cool, that’s some foreshadowing for what is to come. In this film, it is straight forward there really isn’t a thing that makes you know more in a satisfying way. When you rewatch this film, there is a sort of thing that happens where you see what’s gonna happen you’ve seen it before, but you can look at the finer details and see the smaller things. You almost are the main character Cooper you know as much as he does, he’s not like Cobb from inception. This guy doesn’t have a mysteriously dark past that he is withholding from the audience, he is just as confused as you are whenever he enters the wormhole. He is learning with you.

Image result for space images free

Another important note is how the film has a theme of how time for us in our current state marches ever forward in a straight line that is the only way that we can comprehend it in our present state so in the instance when Cooper sees time as we may in the future. It creates his personal hell. He regrets leaving and now he is sitting there watching himself leave no matter how much he begs himself to stay. I feel like we as people would do exactly that if they were trapped in a box of our past mistakes, yes we would try our best to change it and scream and cry about. As much as I would love to say I wouldn’t, I probably would. You might as well admit you would too even if just for a minute. That scene goes on for a few minutes, Mathew Mcconaughey (yes I did have to look up how to spell his lat name ) is great you can seriously feel the emotional anguish that his character is going through. The lesson here is that he was only able to move forward when he found a way to use the past to help him grow as a person more accurately save humanity. So in continuation of yesterdays post look at the past but don’t get stuck in a box wanting to change it.

One view Yassss

Memes…

We’ve all seen them, I mean you are on the internet looking at this blog so chances are that you have seen a few be it a grumpy cat one or one of the countless and I do mean countless spongebob memes.

Well I saw a meme and maybe you have too, it’s one of this boy, who gets one subscriber and it happens to be his grandma.

Haha I know you probably laughed it is little silly but I was thinking about it. And that thinking lead into to the development of this post.

Celebrate any of those successes it. May not be overnight but each little moment towards that success that you want will build up to something great. Thank you so far this journey has been amazing and let us keep going!

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