Eating food that tastes of disappointment

So I wake up hungry, the previous day my family had bought pastries, with danish cream and then there was the mysterious almond one, having almonds… and I think powder sugar… well have you ever wondered what sadness tastes like? Without the seasoning of salty tears? Well it tastes like a lack of solid flavor, more so it tasted like bread without the proper things to give it the nice tanginess that bread has. So don’t eat the almond pastry.

Today’s song: Oats in the water by Ben Howard.

For yourself

I don’t. know how many times I’ve heard something along the lines of do it for the niche how are you going to market it. Well technically I’m not.. Technically we are always making someone money every time we open our phones up. So let’s just say you should do what you want.. doing it for you and not the monetary gain will keep the burnout away. Here’s to hoping.

Birds of passage

In the effort to fly the little. Bird flys from pillar to pillar trying to complete his journey, only thing is he eventually gets lost and makes a nest. He hides his home up above and raises a family. Perhaps the next generation can make it through the passage.

Birds of passage

In the effort to fly the little. Bird flys from pillar to pillar trying to complete his journey, only thing is he eventually gets lost and makes a nest. He hides his home up above and raises a family. Perhaps the next generation can make it through the passage.

Someone else’s worse case

Congratulations! You have a struggle right?

Shhh you hear someone say, you see that person over there? Well they have it worse. Of course they do. I mean if you look at it that way everyone is either worse off or better than you. I think my favorite comparison is, “well you could have be where you’re paralyzed and all you can do is drool on yourself.”

To which I always think to myself, thanks that’s actually a subject of nightmares for me. I feel like when you have a problem people are quick to point out other people suffering and being like, “be grateful that isn’t you.” And really that isn’t helpful. Because realistically someone probably is thinking that about you and all it does is create a loop of jealously. There’s a good chance that while you’re pointing your finger someone is glad their finger isn’t crooked while pointing.

I hate the sound of my own voice

I don’t talk a whole lot Most of the time I have taken up the idea of It is deeply ingrained. Though I do wonder if I hate it because when I think I stutter and then while I think that. My brain replays what I said in my head. Now that creates a feedback loop. I hear it twice. Then my annoyingly self conscious mind begins to wonder what those around me are thinking. It makes me seize up more. Boom I’m stuck. In reality I’m sure no one cares. The real issue is that I hear my voice so rarely that when I do hear what I really sound like, I can almost feel how the vocal cords are bending to make my own unique frequency of voice.

In order to truly control something you have train it. So that is what I did.. A few times at least. I read the first page of Harry Potter a couple times, My tongue got stiff in a few of the takes I also noticed that it is quite impossible for me to recite word for word. It is like my brain wants to just skip those words and give it a more human sound to it almost as if the way we write is not equal to that of human speech. It has to be perfect. But the real question is …..

Is it?

I just read the first paragraph outed close to a nightmare of everything sizing up boom here we go round two here we go .

What’s your favorite book?

We all have favorite books. Even if you don’t realize it, I’m sure that just by hearing the title you’ve thought of a book. Perhaps yours is a classic or a new modern book that has yet to explode into that beautiful flower you know it to be. My favorite book can easily be put at The Hobbit by Tolkien, the high fantasy that feels truly like it was made for himself and to calm his mind after a long days work . Who knows, but tell me what your favorite book is!

Two halves to one person

Part of us is constantly nervous. Another part is superbly confident and has so much it wants to do. If you think about it we all have two parts. What we want to do and what we believe to be logical. Sure you know what you’ve got to do while also sitting thinking no I don’t really need that. It would be nice but I don’t need it. That, my friend is where you are wrong. You do need to do this, if it is what will make you happy then it is not a maybe it is a must for your sake. Don’t put your dreams on hold out of fear talk to that person do that thing you’ve always wanted to dO.

But it’s hard, because those two parts of you are at war do and don’t they say, two opposite messages to yourself, you have to push through to the one that you want to hear, follow your dreams and know if you push hard enough it will work.

Blind date with a book….

So I’m sitting there, looking at these books wrapped in white. There are small words on the front. Hand crafted of course, these small imperfections that add to the beauty of the project. I looked at them, my mind racing with the possibility. That happens a lot, I love when my mind races. The feeling of possibility is absolutely beautiful. It was a gamble sure. Money to be placed on something And you don’t know what, but with some amount of trust I went through and bought a book taking a serious chance and having the scared part of my brain say “no put it back! You could hate it! But also I could love it so I stopped worrying (I mean I tried to I just tuned it out!) then I went ahead read the white paper one last time and tore it open! Taking a leap and hoping with excitement.

Hit the montage

Oh boy! You’ve finally hit it big, you’re doing what you love and making money at it. Life couldn’t be better, it took you a few years but when Hollywood gets ahold that long time to make they happen will be set and passed in a minute of screen time so all we must do is do our thing. Create what we must to get to our happiness and watch all the years later when that work is glossed over in a minute.

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