I’m on this day. Moving through in complete control of myself. Every day can be the best even in losing track.
In a perfect world I wouldn’t be disabled. I wouldn’t be here on this dial a ride. Honestly I don’t even like admitting it, feeling oh so similar to an admission of weakness. I get on the bus, “how much is it?” I ask.
“Dollar seventy for regular and a dollar for disabled.” Simple really. So I go hey can get the disability count? And I’m asked do you have proof.. and I’m like… “well I clearly am, I can barely stand right now. “ Not proudly of course. But it’s a fact.
Do you have documented proof?
I kind of laugh, ”i mean not with you. I’m not faking I honestly hate this. I have a a card that says I am if you need it.
”Well you need the proper card, ours is blue.”
I swear the world is overtaken by vogons. A burning feeling I got while I struggled to get off.
In a sense we are made by memories and we make them. We think back to recreate the good, 21 years into life and there is still much to create and recreate.
Music of life, that’s me… it’s this thing I thought was oh so original . Okay there are many who have this, a book a dance company, and another blog. But let’s be the modern recreation. Renaming modern and beautiful, starting and going. Not stopping. We’ll be the BIGGER IDENTITY.
There are so many different ways to read books today, you can listen read physical books or even get ebooks that you can have a version on you at all times. But people seem to be getting less into reading more into videos so how do we know what is next? What do you think?
Part of us is constantly nervous. Another part is superbly confident and has so much it wants to do. If you think about it we all have two parts. What we want to do and what we believe to be logical. Sure you know what you’ve got to do while also sitting thinking no I don’t really need that. It would be nice but I don’t need it. That, my friend is where you are wrong. You do need to do this, if it is what will make you happy then it is not a maybe it is a must for your sake. Don’t put your dreams on hold out of fear talk to that person do that thing you’ve always wanted to dO.
But it’s hard, because those two parts of you are at war do and don’t they say, two opposite messages to yourself, you have to push through to the one that you want to hear, follow your dreams and know if you push hard enough it will work.
So I’m sitting there, looking at these books wrapped in white. There are small words on the front. Hand crafted of course, these small imperfections that add to the beauty of the project. I looked at them, my mind racing with the possibility. That happens a lot, I love when my mind races. The feeling of possibility is absolutely beautiful. It was a gamble sure. Money to be placed on something And you don’t know what, but with some amount of trust I went through and bought a book taking a serious chance and having the scared part of my brain say “no put it back! You could hate it! But also I could love it so I stopped worrying (I mean I tried to I just tuned it out!) then I went ahead read the white paper one last time and tore it open! Taking a leap and hoping with excitement.
Oh boy! You’ve finally hit it big, you’re doing what you love and making money at it. Life couldn’t be better, it took you a few years but when Hollywood gets ahold that long time to make they happen will be set and passed in a minute of screen time so all we must do is do our thing. Create what we must to get to our happiness and watch all the years later when that work is glossed over in a minute.
As you listen to a song watch how it follows your mood and becoming how you feel. As you try to find the song for your thoughts you realize music controls your mood in some ways happy songs get you happy sad ones make you sad and sometimes it works the opposite way. Songs keep The mind active in a way, keep the blood flowing and before you know it the music in your mind is narrating your own personal movie.